Oh my gosh... it's the last month post of 2022!! *blows airhorns* 🍾🍾🍾 I almost can't believe that I made it across the finish line before Jan. 1st (or let's be honest Jan. 15th... lol)! This has been an experience, a labor, a process, an exercise in consistency for sure. When I said to myself, "self" and myself said, "what's good?" and then I said, "let's do a reflection recap of the year with photos and talking about experiences over the past year," myself said, "you sure?" I said, "it'll be so easy, I already got photos, I know how to write stuff, just put 2 and 2 together..." myself said, "bet." My deeper wiser inner-self said, "she don't know what's she in for... " Myself be knowing sometimes 😅😂🤣
When I started this part of the blog (A Year in Review) I had no idea all the stories that would emerge, just by looking at my photos. They do say that a picture is worth a thousand words, but what if the photo isn't fully conveying the story as it happened? Or not conveying the story as fully as it happened? And do you (or I) even want to remember, share, reflect, process, write about that part of the story? I didn't realize all the other questions that would come up simply in recapping my year in a way that felt true and authentic to me. It was scary at times, there's definitely posts that I went back and forth about writing, about posting, about deleting after they were posted. And let's be honest, I've felt that in some way probably about each post I've put up on here so far. But this too is part of the journey and process of writing. If I want to be a writer and be known for writing, then not only do I have to write it, but also share it, and praying that through the consistency of that, both it and I will get better.
Also, how come life don't stop life-ing when you're in the middle of trying to do a project? In December I got sick, had a birthday, celebrated Christmas alone (first time ever), and worked on a podcast (hopefully more about that in the future!). I also learned how to upload photos 50-eleven times, see how much technology actually doesn't always work in your favor, and agonized over word choices, story structure, and what stories were mine to tell. I literally had a couple of nights where I was writing/editing posts until 3am - it was like I was back in college! But I knew one thing that I really wanted - I wanted to finish.
I'm a person who's really good at starting things, especially creative things. I can't tell you how many notebooks I have filled with TV ideas, half done screenplays, lines of dialogue, pitches for my own network, podcast episodes, motivational speeches, and various writing drafts. When I started this blog overall, I thought I would just comb through the archives and have stories for weeks (if not months) to pull from. But as I started, I realized that I didn't just want to use what I had written before, that there needed to be pieces that resonated and spoke to me now as a writer. When I started the Year in Review, I felt it would be easier (and quicker!), that it'll take me a week - two weeks tops to gather the photos, outline the stories and write them. That was a magical timeline that did not exist (lol). I didn't actually realize what I was writing until probably the March post - this wasn't a simple recap of events or experiences; this was writing about moments of change, growth, transformation, learning. And there's no easy way to write about that - you just do it. I can see now why folks do those reels where it's just one pic from each month with some music.... cause writing all this is hard! 😅😂😭😄
Along the way, I'm learning my process and my voice. I'm learning my capacity and my humor. I'm learning what works for me and what doesn't. I'm learning I can still crank something out at 3am, I'm learning that social media and blogs don't always play nice with each other, I'm learning how to craft stories, I'm learning how to say F-it and write it as I feel it, I'm learning to hear my own critic and write it anyway, I'm learning to say it and not take it back, I'm learning I do have something to say and share, I'm learning, I'm learning, I'm learning, I'm learning. I'm grateful that I've given myself the space to learn - even if it's in this corner of the world where everyone can see it if they want (lol). I thought about abandoning it, being like maybe it's a "Beginning of the Year Review" and leave it at that. But when I heard one person say that they liked what I wrote, or found something I said interesting, or called me brave - it gave me hope and fuel to keep going. But even without that, I'm learning that this is what it takes to finish something - and I do have what it takes.
Thank you, for every read, comment, like, share and subscriber (I GOT SUBSCRIBERS!?). Thank you for your time and energy in reading my posts and your encouragement, likes, shares on my blog or social media. I see it, I hear it, I deeply appreciate it. ❤️❤️❤️ I hope you'll keep rocking with me in the New Year and we'll see how the rest of this journey unfolds. Until then - Cheers to the end of 2022... and Excitement for what's to come in 2023! 🥂🍾🎊 🎉😘🥳
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